Top 20 @ 20 : The 20 Reasons I Love My Wife

/ Steven Ruff / 2 Comments

I met my wife Terri in high school. She was a sophomore and I was a senior. She was the shy, studious, academic type (all the qualities that endeared me to her). On the other hand, I was more of the underachiever, do-only-what-I-have-to-do-in-order-to-graduate kind of guy. I can remember the first time we met. Her older sister introduced us to each other. I was hooked. Game. Set. Match. After our first date on a Friday night, I went to school on Monday morning and said to her sister, “I am going to marry your sister one day.” She laughed at me. I am not a prophet, nor the son of a prophet, but I got that one right. Originally, we planned to be married two weeks earlier. However, my unit deployment to California was extended and the Marine Corps did not share my enthusiasm about my upcoming wedding nuptials. I had to call Terri and tell her that I would not be home on time. Let’s just say that “not happy” should about cover it. So, our wedding date was pushed back two weeks. I love her for the fact that she did not care that our wedding glasses and napkins had the wrong date on them. The marriage was more important to her than the ceremony. I appreciated that then and I appreciate that even more now twenty years later.

I remember our wedding day very well. It took place at 3:00 in the afternoon in a small country church, Grace Baptist Church. It rained. No, I take that back, it poured. I was nervous. I don’t know why. I was absolutely certain I was doing the right thing. I was absolutely certain I was marrying the right person. I am still certain of those things. My wedding pictures reflect the fact that I was nervous. As Terri entered the back doors of the church and make her way down the aisle, everything seemed right in the world. She was beautiful (still is) and I was so proud to be the one standing at the altar with her. Since then, life has moved us in many directions between the military and the ministry. There have been many challenges and bumps along the way. The Lord has blessed us with a son who is the joy of our lives. Through all of the ups and downs, the good and the bad, the sickness and the health, I love Terri more today than I did on that rainy Florida day back in October of 1992. So, on this our 20th wedding anniversary, I want to share the top 20 reasons why I love my wife.

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1. I love my wife because she gets me. She lets me be me. She understands who I am and loves me anyway. I am not perfect and it is not easy being married to a pastor.

2. I love my wife because she does not mind sharing me with others. People and places in the ministry demand my time and attention. Terri is not threatened by this reality.

3. I love my wife because she knew I was called to the ministry before I did.

4. I love my wife because she is a good Christian woman. She loves the Lord and seeks Him daily. She prays for me and I can tell it.

5. I love my wife because she leaves notes for me. Whenever I travel, I often find notes of love and encouragement scattered among my clothes.

6. I love my wife because she is a terrific mother. She loves our son Jordan and has sacrificed a great deal for him.

7. I love my wife because she watches college football with me. She is becoming quite the Florida State fan.

8. I love my wife because she tells me that she loves me. Often.

9. I love my wife because she loves to hold hands. Her hand fits perfectly into mine. It is as if God made it that way.

10. I love my wife because she is Jordan’s mother.

11. I love my wife because she still wants to have “date nights”.

12. I love my wife because her family is very important to her.

13. I love my wife because she has saved every letter that I have written to her over the past 20 years, including those high school “locker notes”. I think that is very cool.

14. I love my wife because she makes sure that I match before I leave the house. This is very important. She has perfected the phrase, “You’re not going to wear that are you?” Until they make Garanimals for adults, I’ll need her for this.

15. I love my wife because she is patient and a good listener, not only for me, but for others as well. I love the fact that she can be trusted to keep the confidence of others. That is a beautiful thing to me.

16. I love my wife because she tolerates, and at times enables, my ever-worsening book addiction.

17. I love my wife because I am more comfortable, stable, and confident when she is in the same room with me.

18. I love my wife because she shares my weakness for a really good cheeseburger.

19. I love my wife because she shares my love for the Marine Corps. We both know it was a defining time in our lives.

20. I love my wife because she misses me when I am gone. Even if it is just to the store. How do I know? She tells me.

Happy Anniversary Terri. I love you with all of my heart.

And The Winner Is….

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The Winner of John Maxwell’s Everyone Communicate’s, Few Connect from Thomas Nelson is Lynda Buss. She will be receiving her book in the very near future. Thank you to everyone who stopped by The Road Less Traveled. There were some very good responses given. Stay tuned for the next giveaway.

Book Review : Grace; More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine

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Grace is one of those things that we want, but don’t fully understand. It is one of those things that we want shown to us, but fail to return to others. Grace is a verb as much as it is a noun. It is as much something we do as it is something possess. Grace stoops. Grace saves. Grace rescues. Grace loves. Grace forgives. Graces restores. Grace is more than words spoken over a meal, it is the provision of the meal itself. In Max Lucado’s new book Grace; More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine he paints a beautiful picture of a gift that can only descend from heaven. Lucado, in a style that is his alone, shows us how real, alive, life-changing, and powerful grace is when spilled over the life of an individual.

This is arguably Lucado’s greatest work to date. He writes in a very simple tone, rhythm, and cadence. Within this simplicity, much truth and theology is packed. In each of the eleven chapters, Lucado weaves together the biblical account of those touched by the grace of God with personal experiences and real-life stories. Some of those touched by grace are the woman caught in the act of adultery, Zacchaeus, and Naomi and Ruth. Brilliantly, Max Lucado included, alongside these biblical story lines, the real-life stories of Brazilian garbage pickers, orphaned pioneer children, and the surreal scene of an airline terminal to illustrate the mystery that is the grace of God. This is a great that I highly recommend.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review : The Invested Life

/ Steven Ruff / 4 Comments

Of all the Christian disciplines and practices, personal discipleship, the intentional one-on-one process of growing closer to Jesus Christ, is one that is perhaps the most easily neglected. This can be case for many reasons: too busy, lack of motivation, fear of failure due to a lack of knowledge, too messy, and a myriad of others. That being the case, the pages of the Bible as littered with references to, procedures for, an benefits of personal discipleship. In The Invested Life; Making Disciples of All Nations One Person at a Time, authors Joel Rosenberg and T.E. Koshy have written a thought-provoking look at this subject. They have crafted their book around two foundational questions: “Who is investing in me?” and “Who am I investing in?”

Rosenberg and Koshy write, as a premise for their book, “Christianity is not a solo sport. It’s about building strong healthy teams of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ whom God can use to change the world. It’s about older believers taking younger believers under their wings to love them, help them grow in Christ, and help them reproduce their faith in the lives of other younger believers.” They develop their case intentionally by dealing with such topics as Christ’s model for discipleship, selecting a person to disciple, seeking out a discipler for yourself, and the subjects that should be part of an investing relationship. The Invested Life is grounded in scripture and pulls examples from within of disciple-making relationships and principles. They cite the relationships between Jethro and Moses, Jesus and His disciples, and Paul and Timothy.

This is a 270 page how-to, nuts and bolts look at discipleship. The authors give many lists, points, and checklists to get their point across to their readers. For me, this is great. I learn better by those methods. This may be a drawback to other readers. Woven into the scriptural mandate are personal testimonies and study questions to further develop their burden of discipleship. All in all, a good book that worth your time.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Giveaway : Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

/ Steven Ruff / 5 Comments

It is time for me to give away another book from my bookshelf.  I am giving away a copy of John Maxwell’s  Everyone Communicates, Few Connect from Thomas Nelson Publishers. Maxwell is arguably the world’s most respected expert in the area of leadership. In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Maxwell shows what effective people do differently in the area of communication that make them successful. You can read my review here.

To be entered to win, you must do (2) things.

1. Follow my blog by clicking on the button at the bottom of the page.

2. Answer the following question by leaving your answer in the comment stream.

It’s that simple. Contest will stay open until midnight Thursday, September 20th.  I will choose a winner based on the most unique answers given. The winner will be announced winner here on Friday, September 21st. Good luck, here is your question.

In 20 words or less, what do you feel is the greatest barrier to effective communication?

 

Book Review : When Bad Christians Happen to Good People

/ Steven Ruff / 1 Comment

People can be hurtful. Christians included. Unfortunately, that hurts is sometimes intentional. Fortunately, it is not always intentional. It is sad to say that this hurt , at times, comes from those who should certainly know better and who have been given the strength and spirit to refrain from such practice. Dave Burchett, author of When Bad Christians Happen to Good People; Where We Have Failed Each Other and How to Reverse the Damage, has written a smart, honest, and insightful book that pulls no punches when calling out the bad behavior that Christians display today. Burchett offers no excuses. Instead he offers a fresh perspective on the fragile relationship between those he considers his target audience; those who have “been hurt by a judgmental person or church” and the “Christians who inflict the wounds”.

Burchett has smartly divided his book into three common sense sections: The Indefensible Things We Do to One Another (evaluation), Thoughts on How We Lost Our Audience (diagnosis), and Being Real in an Artificial World (prescription). Burchett does a great job in his evaluation of Christian conduct today. He writes that Christians are at times hypocritical, prone to fuss and fight, guilty of further harming the already wounded, and successful at majoring in the minor things. Chapter three (Would Jesus Spend His Time on This?) is the most powerful in this first section. It shows how easily distracted Christians are today from what should be their true focus in life. The author’s diagnosis, or the reasons Christians are losing their audience, is shamefully accurate. Issues such as an inconsistent witness, church language, and the contrasting portraits of love and forgiveness are given as reasons for the push-back. Chapter nine (Jesus Wept… And He Still Does) is especially powerful. In the third and final section, Burchett offers a prescription for Christians to become more genuine before a watching world. Stressed are embracing the hard-teachings of Christ as being vital to growth and witness, a return to biblical literacy, and the exercising of grace when dealing with those in whom we disagree. Chapter thirteen (All God’s Children Got Souls, Even the Annoying Ones) is truly convicting. His call to “hate the message and love the messenger” is spot on.

A book such as this one needed to be written. What I really like about this book is that the author’s views and critiques do not come from a sterile laboratory, nor is it simply an academic exercise. Instead, by his own admission, he has been hurt by Christians and as Christian has hurt others. His style of writing, containing humor, scripture, and real-life stories, is engaging and insightful. A great work on a serious subject. I highly recommend.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

And The Winner Is…..

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The Winner of Mark Batterson’s  “Soul Print” from Waterbrook Press is Darrell Jones from Perry FL. He will be receiving his book in the very near future. Thank you to everyone who stopped by The Road Less Traveled. Stay tuned for the next giveaway.

Worth Repeating

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“The truth of God’s Word is always countercultural, and the notion of becoming a slave is certainly no exception. In fact, it is difficult to imagine a concept more distasteful to modern sensibilities than that of slavery. Western society, in particular, places a high premium on personal liberty and freedom of choice. So, to present the good news in terms of a slave/master relationship runs contrary to everything our culture holds dear. Such an approach is controversial, confrontational, and politically incorrect. Yet that is precisely the way the Bible speaks about what it means to follow Christ.”

John MacArthur, from his book “Slave: The Hidden Truth About Your Identity in Christ”

Leadership Lessons from Nehemiah : Lesson #5

/ Steven Ruff / 3 Comments

Leaders are well prepared and think of needs in advance

Nehemiah 2 gives us a fresh perspective on Benjamin Franklin’s famous quote, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” The simple lesson in this quote is that planning is critical to success in any endeavor. Nehemiah had his heart broken over the condition of the city and people of Jerusalem. He prayed and God burdened his heart with a desire and goal to rebuild the city walls of Jerusalem. So consumed with his goal, he took leave of his duties at the king’s side to see it through. A great deal happened in between the time God spoke to Nehemiah and Nehemiah speaking to the king. Verses seven and eight are the portrait of a key leadership trait.  “ Furthermore I said to the king, “If it pleases the king, let letters be given to me for the governors of the region beyond the River, that they must permit me to pass through till I come to Judah, and a letter to Asaph the keeper of the king’s forest, that he must give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel which pertains to the temple, for the city wall, and for the house that I will occupy.” And the king granted them to me according to the good hand of my God upon me.” Nehemiah thought in advance what it would take to accomplish his God-given goal. He then presented this list of supplies and needs to the king when he asked for leave to Jerusalem. His request was honored. Imagine the scene conversely. Nehemiah arrives in Jerusalem, looks around and says, “Okay, who has the timber for the wall gates?” Imagine the awkwardness. Imagine the delay in the work. Imagine the disappointment of those who were trusting his leadership.

It is crucial for leaders to be prepared. They owe such preparation to God. They owe such preparation to those who are trusting their guidance. They owe such preparation to themselves for the sake of credibility. Whether leading in the spiritual or secular arena, those who would consider themselves “leaders” must think in advance so they might confront the fears, calm the anxieties, and elevate the confidence of those was are trusting them. A leader must be prepared to answer questions such as “What is involved in this endeavor?” “What will be the benefit?” “What are the challenges and potential obstacles ahead?” “What can we do to support this?” As a result of Nehemiah’s forethought, God was honored and the people encouraged. His leadership style flies in the face of what I would call “off-the-cuff” leadership. This style of leadership is rarely effective and is almost always frustrating and discouraging.

Location, Location, Location

/ Steven Ruff / 2 Comments

Port Royal Baptist Church is uniquely situated for ministry opportunity. I believe the placement of our church has nothing to do with chance. I believe the placement of our church has nothing to do with luck. Instead, I believe that we are where we are for a reason. I believe that we have been planted and given a certain responsibility for the care of this community. If you’ve never been to Port Royal Baptist Church, allow me explain a little bit about our location.

Stepping out of the front door and looking to the left, there is a major highway connecting the town of Port Royal with the city of Beaufort. Across that highway are two apartment buildings. The first is a senior adult community that we have just recently been able to involve ourselves in. The other, next door to the first, is an apartment building with a mixture of singles, families, and seniors. Our church has had a presence here for over five years and continues to be active here to this day.  Stepping out the front door and looking to the right, there is Naval Hospital Beaufort. Aboard this military base you will find housing for both singles and families. At times in the past, our members who are in the military have lived here. Stepping out the front and looking directly to the front, you will see a park that is maintained by the town of Port Royal. There are two things worth mentioning about this park. First, a skate park was built here several years ago that gives  kids who enjoy skateboarding a place to go. There are always kids there. We are expecting a door to open to be able to reach them. Second, this park hosts a farmers market that runs year round.  Every Saturday morning vendors set up in the park and sell everything from vegetables to fresh shrimp, bread to plants and flowers, barbecue to olive oil. Our church has been able to be establish a presence here during the summer months giving away free cold water to both vendors and customers. This farmers market draws a large crowd every week.

The exciting part is that all of this takes place at our doorsteps. Literally. Our parking lot serves as parking for the market every Saturday. Directly behind the church is an apartment complex in which we have been praying for an opportunity to establish a presence and a witness of the gospel. Our prayers have been answered and we have been able to host a block party here recently and meet the residents and their families.  Also, within a half-mile of the church, there are at least three other multi-housing units. Port Royal Baptist Church is just over a mile from the front gate of the Marine Corps Recruit Depot at Parris Island. We are praying for an opportunity to open up to that would enable us to minister to the families aboard the depot.

I said all of that to say this. It’s all about placement. Boundless opportunity surrounds us. Our mission field is right here. I believe that God has uniquely positioned us here to significantly impact our community. If you have never been to Port Royal Baptist Church, I hope this helps you understand where we are. If you have been to Port Royal Baptist Church, have you noticed what is around you? When you drive to the church building for scheduled services, do you realize that you pass through a mission field on your way in? Do you notice the potential that the Lord has laid at our feet? We have a people to reach. I am excited about the potential. I am excited about the opportunity before us. I love this town. I love this church. I love these people. May God enable us to reach them.